Holy Humor

These jokes and Christian One Liners aren't original with me. They've been around a long time, but they still can make me smile.

Holy Humor

          A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
          "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"

          “It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.”

          There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
          "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
          "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the best of you;  remember,  Moses started out as a basket case.
 Chri

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose,  but mosquitoes come close.

When you get to your wit's end,  you'll find God lives there.

People are funny;  they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

Quit griping about your church;  if it was perfect,  you couldn't belong.

If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.

God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead.  So why should you?

Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

Peace starts with a smile.

I don't know why some people change churches;  what difference does it make which one you stay home from?!

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

Be ye  fishers of men.  You catch them - He'll clean them.

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

Forbidden fruits create many jams.

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

God grades on the cross, not the curve.

God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

He who angers you, controls you!

If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!

Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!

The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.

The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.

We don't change the message, the message changes us.

You can tell how big a person is by what it takes  to..........discourage him.

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

FAITH AND HUMOR