Saturday, May 21, 2022
Aging Backwards
Monday, May 9, 2022
Storms
We face storms, don't we?
They come from the heavens with thunder and lightening, but hurricanes and tornadoes also bombard us in life. We call them by different names: financial ruin, divorce, cancer. loss of loved ones, loneliness.
Some of these tempests from the sky are real. Many cause destruction. A few are short-lived and gone, while personal storms can last a lifetime.
We flew to Tulsa this past week. The plane was delayed for five hours due to bad weather. Oklahoma is famous for tornadoes, and these scary things lurked in and about the area.
Once we took off, the pilot told us we would fly above the clouds.
Saying goodbye and celebrating a life well lived is a storm. Although the brutal force of the cloud is short-lived, grief and sadness lasts longer.
Friday, April 29, 2022
Another Blog
I've started a new blog.
I focus on early onset dementia from a mother's perspective.
https://dementiadaybyday.blogspot.com/
Most of the time, children take care of parents who've grown older. Parents who face the challenges of Alzheimer's or Dementia.
Shelley and I are the odd ones out.
When I check into the community where she lives, if the receptionist doesn't know me, she'll ask, "Are you her daughter or her sister?"
The mouth drops open when I say, "I'm her mom."
I go often, and most of the people know me, but there are usually new aides or office personnel to meet. Memory care facilities seem to have a large turnover. Shelley has been in the current facility since 2020, and we are on the third management team.
I'm pleased two of the aides reman. If not for these two people, I might move her.
One of the aides saved her life when she was attacked. You can read about it under the "Dealing with Dementia" tab on this blog. Shelley lights up when this person is nearby. Somewhere, deep in the recesses of her brain, she remembers and appreciates the aide saving her life.
Today was a good day for her. She was up walking the hallways when her dad and I went to see her. She could almost remember things I spoke about.
I don't say, "Do you remember...." I talk about past events or people. When I told her Don (her deceased husband) was in heaven with Jesus having a good time. He was singing, playing the guitar, and laughing.. She responded, "I want to go be with him." I told her she would go there one day, but today, we were going to sing in her room. We then sang her favorite song. "You Are My Sunshine." And yes, she sang the words on key!
A good day.
She told us over and over,
"I love you."
A very good day.
I invite you to follow my new blog.
Sunday, April 17, 2022
Proper Burial Attire
Her mother loved it! The color orange, that is. My Atlanta friend’s mom had designated a certain dress as her burial attire, but she decided, instead, that it would look pretty on her sister. So, when her sister died, the attire went to her. My friend’s mom than determined she wanted to be buried in an orange blouse with light-colored slacks. During one of their shopping trips, while she was in good health, she found the prefect orange blouse. It became her designated burial attire. She kept in in her closet and wouldn’t wear it because she was saving it. My friend and her mom often joked about saving the blouse. After her mom got sick and bedridden, my friend was horrified to walk into her room one day to find her dressed in the burial shirt! After that, my friend kept it, along with the off-white burial slacks in her care so they would stay safe—to be ready when the time came.
One day she visited her mom, and the mom said, “Go get my
funeral shirt. I need to get dressed. I have a funeral to go to, and I need to
be ready at 2:00! When my friend asked, Whose funeral?” Her answer came
quickly. “Mine.”
Before she went to Glory, she had a week of clarity. Her
mom reiterated again the shirt was for her burial. She wanted to make sure she was buried
in that shirt. She was!
A Houston friend has a sister in Austin. The Austin
sister asked her Houston sister, “Are you coming?” My friend asked, “Where?” Her sister replied, “To my funeral, of
course. It’s today at 2:00. I have on my pink dress.” The Austin sister wasn’t sick, but one must
wonder if dementia was becoming part of her life.
The two o’clock hour must be a popular time for
funerals. Both of these ladies wanted their service at 2:00.
When my daughter’s mother-in-law died, my daughter
cleaned out her mother-in-law’s apartment. The many bags for Goodwill were
stacking up, and I suggested to my daughter that she save a garment for the
burial. My daughter replied, “Oh, that’s okay. It will be a closed casket.” I replied, “She still needs clothes!”
Can you imagine being buried like Eve before she and Adam invented fig leaves?
My mom wanted to be buried in a negligee. She refused suggestions of a dress. She loved beautiful, sexy nightwear. When she passed unexpectedly, her skimpy nightdresses were not suitable. My sister and I went to Macy’s to find a negligee. Nothing was appropriate. At the funeral home, the director told us, “We have them. A lot of ladies want beautiful negligees so they can be comfortable in their final resting place.” We bought a purple negligĂ©e from the funeral home and buried her in it. Purple was her favorite color.
When a friend of mine left this earth at age 94, her
grandson found a box under her bed. The note read, “For my funeral.” It was a beautiful,
pink chiffon dress she’d worn once—on her 50th wedding anniversary.
Have you decided what you will wear in your final resting
place? Or what kind of apparatus will be in the plot?
I read about a man in Pennsylvania who wanted his
ashes buried in his white Corvette. He bought twelve burial plots to house him
and his car. After a lot of negotiation, the man and car with 27,000 miles on
the odometer were buried in a private ceremony.
In I Thessalonians, chapter 4, we are told the dead in
Christ rise first, and then the rest of us will go up after them. Our bodies
will be reunited with our spirits.
Now I don’t believe we will go through eternity wearing
orange shirts or purple negligees, but whatever we have on in the casket may be
seen as we go up to Glory. At some point in eternity, Christians will be clothed
in eternal righteousness. Revelation 7:9, ESV says, “After this I looked, and
behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all
tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the
Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands.”
Easter
is the most important day in Christendom. Jesus was buried in someone else’s
clothes. Strips of cloth, actually. He didn’t choose the attire, but he chose death and the shedding of His blood
as a means to bring salvation to sinners.
He
stayed dead three days, and then God raised Him from the dead.
It
doesn’t matter what we wear to the casket, but it matters what we believe in
the here and now. We are all sinners, but to be clothed appropriately in eternity, we must confess and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in
your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9
NIV.
Have a blessed Easter!
Friday, April 15, 2022
Family Secrets on Sale Now!
My
book, Family Secrets, in the eBook format, will be on sale on Amazon for .99 on April
15-20. If you haven’t read this historical book, now
is a good time to download a copy for your eReader. Here’s a blurb:
Dallas, Texas,
1975. A dark time in history but also a time of change. Although civil rights
were revolutionizing, racial prejudice still existed.
Rebecca Davis,
a nurse, hasn’t seen family in fifteen years. They hid secrets from her, and
she won’t forgive them. Ever.
Two single men
and an adorable child enter her life. She falls in love with all three. If she
could marry, which man would she choose? The one with the delightful daughter? No
matter, those secrets forbid love for her.
Monday, April 4, 2022
A Chapter from My Work-in-Progress
I thought you might like to read an excerpt from a book I'm working on. It doesn't have a title yet. If you suggest a title, and I use it, I'll give you credit.
Let me know what you think!
Eye-popping beauty. He couldn’t remember a female more stunning.
David
Worth stared spellbound at the woman. He couldn’t help it. She might be a
mirage and disappear if he turned his head. Like da Vinci’s masterpiece on
canvas, The Mona Lisa, beauty like hers should be appreciated and
admired. Shameless gaping was ill-mannered, sure, he knew that, but he couldn’t
stop what some might call his awestruck gaze. And of course, it was rude, but
he didn’t care. He had to look at her. Despite the sad expression she wore, the
spectacular woman’s face and body was beyond words. His words at the moment,
and he got paid to talk. He walked toward her from the opposite, far side of
the hospital corridor. Even though courtesy dictated he avert his gawk, he refused
to take his eyes off this magnificent creature.
As
a trained physician, he detected she was troubled. What did the lady have on
her mind? Her contemplation focused on some unseen thing beyond him. Perhaps
she gazed at art on a wall behind him, but he guessed she was wrapped up with
images playing in her head. From the looks of her forlorn expression, the
beautiful creature had suffered an unhappy morning. Why was she here in the
hospital anyway? Visiting the sick? A loved one? Known for his observation
skills, he noted her short jacket over a simple form-fitting black dress. Was
she in mourning? He’d counseled enough people to recognize deep grief and pain.
Perhaps someone close to her had died. Determined to bring hope to her hearting
heart, he halted three feet in front of her. With her thoughts elsewhere, she
almost ran smack-dab into him. She stopped in time and raised her head.
Blinking several times as if to clear her vision, she seemed at long last to notice
him.
Even
with heels, she was five inches shorter than him. He smiled down at her. “Good
morning!” His tone sounded tender and intimate, even to his own ears.
The
woman widened her eyes and blinked again. “Good morning.” Her voice indicated
confusion as she appeared to search her memory for his name.
Furrowing
her brow as if she couldn’t think of anything else to say to this stranger blocking
her path, she side-stepped and moved past him.
David
watched her leave. As she reached the exit, she turned to look back at him.
He
smiled and nodded to her.
She
shrugged as if to say, “You spoke as if you know me, but I can’t place you.
Sorry.”
David
gave a little finger wave and broadened his smile.
Returning
the traditional goodbye hand gesture, she turned and left the hallway with a hurried
gait.
Feeling as though the sun had gone from the room, David made his way to the conference chamber. He greeted several doctors he knew and introduced himself to others before he made his way to the dais with the woman on his mind.
Wednesday, March 23, 2022
Shelley Loves Walmart
A memory from
2019.
The facility
took the residents twice a month. I took her at various times in
between, but she loved going on the bus with her “peers” as she called the
group.
I guess it
gave her a sense of freedom and independence to go with the others and not
me. However, she loved going with me,
too. We shopped and then ate lunch at a local restaurant. At first, I wondered why she walked behind me instead of beside me. I came to realize that this is part of the disease. Her peripheral vision was declining.
There were
times when the facility had no bus driver, and the tenants made lists for one
facilitator to get the supplies. The residents hated this. Each one enjoyed the
outing. On these instances, Shelley
complained the loudest to me, and at that time, she could still voice her
complaints to the director.
How I wish
she could still do this! As I write this
memory, it is March, 2022. Three years have gone by since she needed the items listed below. She can no longer express what she wants and has no clue as to
what she needs.
I sent the list of supplies below to Stewart, the man who was the designated shopper. Can you imagine getting lists made by 35 occupants? Even if each list had half the items as Shelley’s did, keeping the money and goods separate had to be a huge chore.
Back in those days, I bought Dr.
Suess books for her, although at that stage in her dementia, she couldn’t read,
but a friend would read to her. She
loved perfumes. She insisted her room had to smell good, and so did she.
I kept a
small Christmas tree in her apartment. We decorated it according to seasons. This list was made around Easter time.
For Shelley’s Walmart Trip March 12, 2019
) Yogurt
2) Boost
3) Resee’s peanut butter cups
4) Peanut M & M’s.
5) Dr. Seuss Book
(She already has the one fist, Two fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
book)
6) Plug in refills to make the room
smell good. (I’m not sure of the brand she already has. If you can’t find it,
buy a new one)
7) Can of Room spray to make room smell
good.
8) Spray cologne for ladies to smell
good.
) Toilet paper.
1 Maybe
A few decorations for her Easter tree to hang on branches. Crosses, etc. If you
don’t find any, that’s okay.
Thanks,
Stuart! You do a good job, and I
appreciate it!
Gay
When I found this list, I found myself longing for those days when she could call me on her iPhone, or go with me to the store.
I'll always remember the fun we had at Walmart.
Sunday, March 6, 2022
Thessaloniki and Ukraine
In preparation for my Sunday
morning Bible study in 1 Thessalonians, I checked to see if the ancient city of
Thessalonica still exists. It does, but it’s now called. Thessaloniki, and it
is the second-largest city in northern Greece. The access to several waterways
makes it a major trade route. The Danube, located to the north of Thessaloniki,
is the second largest river in Europe. The Danube begins in Germany and empties into the Black Sea in Ukraine.
While I looked at the map, I was excited to see how close
Thessaloniki is to Ukraine. The distance is about 688 nautical miles.
History has it that Apostle Andrew, brother to the
Apostle Peter, traveled to the current Ukraine. Legend says he arrived in Kyiv around AD 55. The
Apostle Andrew didn’t travel nautically, so it must have taken him months to
get there. He preached as he went. The Radziwill Chronicle reports he built
a cross and predicted a great Christian city
would exist there. Stories of Andrew’s missionary visit grew extensive in
history.
Hmmm.
Is his journey legend or fact?
Andrew
is known as one who was always bringing people to Jesus.
Jesus
told his disciples to “go and make disciples of all nations…” Matthew 28:16-20.
NIV
And
they did.
The
18th-century Church of St. Andrew is supposedly constructed where
Andrew’s cross was located on the hill dominating the overlook to the city of
Kyiv, and current Ukraine reports say about 60% of the country is Christian.
Ukraine
is fighting for her life these days, but the tiny nation’s fight with Russia is
one to make the history books. Putin, Russia’s
president since 2012, wishes to make Ukraine a part of Russia once more. Russia
is a Goliath to that little Ukraine, but no one can deny the mighty patriotism
of the Ukrainians.
Peoples
of the world are divided in thought about what to do with these global crises.
No one wants WWIII. One of the students in my Bible study asked, “Why didn’t
the president of Ukraine just sign the country over to Putin? None of the
killing would have taken place?”
Free
people wish to remain free. That’s why.
Would
we in America want to sign away our nation? Our freedom?
I
hope not. But then, these days, I’m not sure. It seems to me there are too many
who welcome socialist policies.
Contemporary Americans have always known freedom and have no idea what
living in a socialist or communist country entails.
Ukraine
hasn’t always been free. Their citizens know the difference and are willing to
die to keep what they had.
I
hope the Apostle Andrew is the one who brought Christianity to Ukraine. He, or
whoever did, will have many rewards for preaching the Gospel in distant lands. I’m happy there are no tears in heaven.
Andrew would be sad up there if he knew what was happening to the citizens of
Ukraine.
Pray
for Ukraine.
#Ukraine
Saturday, February 19, 2022
Friends? Or Mere Acquaintances?
Have you ever washed overboard in an attempt to get someone to respond to you?
I have.
I’m acquainted with an author in Houston who is rather
well-known. We speak at area meetings, and I congratulate her upon each new achievement.
By nature, I’m a cheerleader, and when I encourage someone, I’m sincere. This
lady, seldom if ever, acknowledges my comments. On Facebook, I always “like”
her posts. She has responded once to mine; however, I see her respond to others. It appears she purposefully ignores me. I write Christian romance novels, and
she writes secular romance.
Although I seldom post conservative political statements on
Facebook, and she seldom posts liberal ones, we know where the other stands on
partisan subjects. This doesn’t matter
to me. We are both female authors living in the same city, and we have other
things in common. We should be kind to each other.
I went to a writing session today. There’s a neighbor who
attends the same class. I speak to her.
She answers politely, and then turns away as fast as possible. She knows I’m a
Christian and a pastor’s wife. She also knows I’m a conservative. According to
comments she’s made to others, she’s not a Christian, and she prefers the
liberal side of politics.
For whatever reason, these two ladies who snub me
bothered me today. Why can’t these ladies who differ so radically from me
respond to me in a kind, polite manner?
I’ve never tried to change their ideas or beliefs at any time.
I tried again today with my neighbor, but to now avail. As I drove out of the parking lot, I pondered this question: Why does it bother me that she turns her back on me? Why
do I continue to seek approval from her?
I was puzzled, but then this fact dawned on me. Jesus knows me. I don’t need
to work to make myself known to Him. The Supreme Being allows me to become
acquainted with Him! No one is greater than He. Wow! The Greatest of All Time permits me to
interview Him, petition Him, laugh with Him, cry with Him. Just be with Him!
So why try should I try to coax someone to like me
when the Greatest of All Beings loves me?
Good question, right?
I’ve decided to spend my energy getting to know Him
better.
So my reader friend, perhaps you identify with me.
There will always be someone on earth who doesn’t respond
favorably to us, but God never excludes us, and He is never rude.
If you have an unconventional person in your life, I
hope you’ll spend more time on getting to know Jesus than seeking affirmation from
someone who will never give it.
That’s what I’m going to do.
Wednesday, February 2, 2022
Dementia Update
Shelley and me today
I haven’t written a recent update about our daughter who has
early onset dementia. Some caregivers
find it easier to share than I do. I’m not sure why it’s hard for me. Perhaps
it’s because I’m afraid readers will find my stories about a suffering daughter
an uncomfortable read.
I participate in a group of caregivers whose loved ones have
Alzheimer’s or dementia. We ask for advice, encouragement, and sometimes we
vent frustrations, but we understand each other and make no judgments. We’re
all enduring the same heartache.
I've missed our daughter. I haven’t seen her in about twelve days,
but I saw her today. Yay! I was excited.
After my last visit, she tested positive for Covid, and the
facility had to quarantine her. She had no symptoms, and for that, I’m
thankful. Six people were placed into isolation, and she was one of them.
I doubt she understood why she was moved, and what happened.
I’m sure she missed me. I visit three or four times a week. She knows who I am, although she gets terminology
mixed. Instead of mom, she calls me Daddy.
I’ve called to check on her. They tell me she’s fine and
doing well, but I needed to see for myself.
When Covid was new, we had to visit through a window.
Later, I was designated as an Essential Caregiver, and I was permitted inside her room. I couldn’t go into other parts of the facility, but I could visit her in her quarters. For that, I was happy.
It’s heartbreaking to see a loved one slowly diminish.
She’s a tiny thing. She always has been. She’s stands 5 feet
tall these days. As a full-term baby, she weighed a whopping 4lbs and 4oz. She
stayed in the hospital for ten days, and I brought her home at 4lbs and 13oz. I
think the doctor got tired of me badgering him to let her leave the hospital.
He’d said she could leave the hospital at 5 lbs, but I wanted my baby home with
me. I wanted to take care of her and make sure she was okay.
Now, decades later, I want the same thing again. I want her well and at home.
Dementia is a sad disease. It steals the mind and robs the
body.
She remembered me today and our songs. And get this! She called me Momma several times! Joy of all joys! We sang together. After my absence, I was afraid she would have declined and not remember me or our songs. It was a blessing to see her recall.
She sleeps a lot. When I went inside to find her, she was
asleep on the sofa in the community living room. I woke her and took her to her
room. We visited for about forty-five minuets and then she fell asleep while still talking to me.
I continue to hope someone will find answers to the diseases
under the Alzheimer’s umbrella.
Saturday, January 22, 2022
Let's Talk About How Life Begins
When a man and woman couple together, the man releases a zillion potential baby
makers, well, that’s an exaggeration. It’s actually about 250 million sperm. Wow! That’s a lot of those little guys, and
they all have one goal in mind. Reach the female’s egg. Now get this, like the
fish, Salmon, those determined sperm swim UP, and that makes it more difficult
to reach their destination. They possess a lot of energy to travel those 5 to 7
inches up the fallopian tube.
Child-bearing aged females release an egg once a
month. It’s an impatient diminutive thing and only waits around for a sperm for 24 hours. If those
swimmers get lucky, they meet up with the woman’s egg.
Did you know there’s a fight going on within that ocean of semen? Yep, sure is. That sea of swimmers fight to see who will be the first to arrive. Only one will receive the gold medal. Sometimes more than one arrives at the same time, and multiple children are conceived, but most often, only one gets the prize.
These determined little guys must go through a slimy
mass to get to the trophy. Uh oh! Many of them won’t make it and will die at
this point. That slimy mass has an opening as thin as a single hair on a person’s
head. Only a few determined sperm will get through.
After two hours of swimming, the
super-determined sperm that make it to the egg begin pounding their tails
forcefully against the egg. Nice, right? While they attack, those strong survivors
spin like drill bits as they try to enter the egg. Those little critters really
want in there.
When one sperm breaks through, the egg says, “That’s
enough.” The egg goes into lockdown faster than a home with a case of Covid. No
other sperm is allowed to enter. A new life has begun.
Twenty hours after the mating process, two
small, chromosome filled structures form. One from the man and the other from
the woman.
These two bubble-like shapes are attracted to each other and move toward each
other as swiftly as a Gulf Coast hurricane bearing down on Alabama. Once these
two meet, they marry—no marriage license needed, and the entire biological DNA
is glued into place. After their nuptial, they sort of look like a snowman without a head—one large ball on top of the other. The genetic info
ruling everything is now resolute. How tall we'll be and how long our fingers will extend are already defined. At this stage, the new creation even knows what
diseases we will inherit. The sex of the baby is also determined. Overwhelming,
right? The little imp is only twenty hours old, and his/her blueprint
is in place.
The human is alive and well, but the teeny image has yet to look like a baby. A multiplication process begins as the union of
sperm and egg journey to the uterus. While this happens, the woman is unaware that
she’s a mother. This little one might have her lips, and the dad’s athletic
abilities, but mom doesn’t know the baby is there yet.
When it arrives in the uterus, this tiny
creation is fastidious. It may wander around for two or three days before it selects
a home inside the uterus.
Okay, here’s another astonishing feature: After
8 days, the little one releases chemicals to counterbalance the mother’s immune
system. Without the chemicals, the mom’s body would identify the diminutive
thing as a foreign object and reject it. Isn’t God amazing? Mom
still doesn’t know the baby is there, but instinct may tell her something is
taking place. God seems to give mothers
a sixth sense at times.
At about 6 weeks, a heart has formed and beats
at about 150 times a minute. The little one has its own blood supply separate
from the mom’s, but the mom’s blood supply nourishes the little guy. This
sounds yucky, but nourishment produces waste products. The baby disposes of
his/her own waste inside the mom’s body. I told you it sounds yucky.
Pixabay
At 17 weeks, the hands are formed and can now grasp the foot. The tiny urchin kicks like a pro football punter, but mom can’t feel the thrust yet.
The eyes are sensitive to light at 28 weeks. If
a physician looks at the baby with a fetoscope, the baby will place his/her
hand over the eyes to shield them. The poor thing needs sunglasses at this
stage.
At 32 weeks, the baby is
getting ready to exit his/her temporary home. The baby is swallowing,
breathing, sucking, and is ready for the outside world. The small sweetheart is
cramped, and ready to be free. While in
the temporary home, he/she developed sleep cycles, and they may vary
drastically from the moms. Good luck, mom, on getting your regular eight hours
after the baby’s arrival. The baby now weights about 3.5 to 4 pounds, and will
soon settle into position for birth.
At
40 weeks, your little one will arrive. It’s a short time, really, for those two
tiny entities, the sperm and the egg, to form into a viable, beautiful human.
King
David wrote a beautiful Psalm 139. In it, he said he was “fearfully and
wonderfully made.” Ultra sounds weren’t
available to him back then, but King David understood what science has proved.
January
22, 1973, the US Supreme Court made abortion on demand a law. Science has
better technology these days, and perhaps that law will be overturned. Abortion
will be for states to determine.
If a person can be declared dead when the
heart stops, why can’t a person be called alive when the heart starts? A fetus
heart beat is detected at 6 weeks.
Abortion
for a healthy mom and baby is wrong. Abortion for an unhealthy baby, incest,
rape, or the life of the mother is a different story. A story for another time.
Friday, January 14, 2022
God Brings Back Life
Ezekiel 33
Dry Bones!
Ezekiel saw a bunch of them.
An Army of Skeletons!
"God Brings Back Life."
The human, adult body has 206 bones. If you're buried today in a casket inside a vault, and placed six feet under, it takes 50 years for your flesh to dissolve and you become a skeleton.
A few years ago, when people were buried in pine boxes, it took a year to become a skeleton.
We've come along way, right? Who wants to be bunch of bare bones within a year?
In Ezekiel's vision, God put tendons, muscles, and flesh on thousands of bones as Zeke watched. The sound of bones coming together resembled an earthquake.
Not get this. All those bones had to find their counterparts. A six foot frame wouldn't join properly with a five foot body. Ole Zeke must have been enthralled as he gazed at the puzzle of bones finding each other.
After the bones located each other, Ezekiel prophesied for the breath of life to come, and it did. The bones became people again!
As I thought about this, I wondered when all of today's buried people would get flesh. Would it be in the casket before the resurrection, or would flesh appear as we leave the casket to meet Jesus in the air?
Do you want your flesh to return to you before you leave the casket? As you know, I write fantasy, and my mind wonders about crazy things.
I want flesh before I go up, and I want clothes too. Just think! Cloth turns to ashes too, so you'll need modern covering for that new flesh.
What will you wear to meet Jesus? Sweats? Ballgown? PJ's? Church clothes?
He desires to see the clothes of salvation on you. That's what matters to Him.
If those salvation clothes aren't in your closet, ask Him today to forgive you of sins and come into your life.
Bingo! Done deal. You'll be dressed properly.