Gay N. Lewis: Gay's Days

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I've always liked that prayer and find it useful for all situations. I'm praying often these days for serenity, courage, and wisdom.

I've not written in several days, and I've missed our visits. I'll try to quickly update you.

If you've been reading my blog, you know my family has been hard hit in recent months. Changes in our lives are occurring so fast that keeping up is impossible. I usually share faith and humor on this blog, and I'm not sure revealing sad, negative experiences is beneficial to me or you. I'd rather communicate happy, positive thoughts, but I must look through the rain to find cheery ones these days.

There is good with the bad. Here's a few lighter moments.

Our daughter has made friends with an 87 year old, sweet lady named Becky. Becky lives in the apartment next to her's. This lady keeps a garden in the courtyard at the assisted living facility. These two, one younger in years and one older in years, eat ice cream together every night. Their favorite in Blue Bell, Moo-ilennium Crunch. They go through a half-gallon as fast as a bolt of lightning cracking the night sky. I took two half-gallons to them last Friday. This is Sunday. They probably need more.

Image result for blue bell moo llennium crunch

Becky goes out late every evening to take care of her plants and veggies. When she didn't return, our daughter went to find her. Becky and her walker had gotten stuck in the mud from a recent rain. Our tiny daughter waded through ankle deep sludge to help Becky. Becky is much taller and larger and daughter couldn't help her walk out. They both fell and ended up covered in mud. Daughter decided help was needed and went inside to find the staff. Becky's call button didn't work, and Daughter forgot she had one. Daughter and Becky laughed themselves silly after the adventure. They retreated to their rooms for a shower, then they treated themselves to a second bowl of ice cream.

Not everyone at the assisted living facility has dementia. Some want to downsize and others need safety from falling. Daughter enjoys pushing a few around in their wheelchairs.

Our daughter loves to talk, and dementia hasn't slowed down her love of chit-chat. She visits with every one in the facility, and her optimistic attitude blesses most of the residents. I say most. One resident ask her to speak softly. Her loud voice bothered his ears. I found that sweet and funny all at the same time. Perhaps her dementia makes her think all the 80 and 90 year old people have hearing loss. No need to tell her to speak up.

Dementia is a cruel disease and it becomes more punishing as it develops. It's merciless to the one who has it, especially at the stage our daughter is in. She recognizes her limitations and they frustrate her.

The disease is odd too. Our daughter has become a hoarder and becomes upset if something is thrown away. She has a fish bowl of Sweet and Low pink packets in her room. She adds more packets each day to the collection. The director of the facility tells me a lot of her residents with dementia are like that. One lady scarfs up foam cups and hides them.

We placed our daughter in this lovely facility so we can remove articles from her home. We need to make space for a caregiver to move in and look after her. Her hoarding tendencies make it impossible for her to be around us when we remove articles. She wants to put everything back. Here's a picture of her garage, and it only is half the garage.