Friday, March 10, 2023

Who Helps Who?


I accompanied my hubby to his doctor's appointment. As we were leaving, I noticed a senior citizen smiling at me, and I walked over to visit. I'd seen her upstairs earlier. 

The elder lady sat in her wheelchair. She had no legs.  Using public transporation, she had brought herself for a checkup.

She said, "You know, I used to be able to do more for myself, but it is getting harder these days. I can't bend over like I once did. Picking up stuff is difficult."

I replied, "Do you have a husband and children?"

"I'm a widow. I have two sons, but one died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Does your other son live close to you?" I'm thinking he must reside out-of-state.

"Yes, he lives on my property in the house behind me."

I'm trying to be polite as this dear lady confides in me. We don't have much time because the valet is about to bring our car.

"So your son can help you at times, right?"

She smiles. "Sometimes."  And then she adds, "my grandson lives with me."

Hmm. I'm thinking this grandson must be a young child since the lady needs help picking up stuff.

"My grandson is 24."

I hope my eyes didn't bug out and show too much surprise. "Doesn't he help you?"

"He sleeps a lot."

I nod. "He must work at night."

"No, no, he doesn't have a job."

Okay, by now, my ire is rising. This lady needs attention, and her nearby family seems to ignore her.

"I hope these two guys pay you rent." (I'm known for being direct. Diplomatic, I'm not.)

There's that Mona Lisa smile again. "No, they don't."

"How do you financially get by?" (Didn't I tell you I'm direct?)

"We live off my husband's income."

This lady wants to talk, but I know I'm running out of time, and I also know I'll probably say something negative about men who don't subsidize needs.

"I'm glad you have a means to support yourself."

I say this as I think about two grown men who make no financial contribution to the household. I'm guessing this family is rich, but if they are rich, why didn't one bring her in his vehicle? On the other hand, the men might be grifters, or just plain old lazy bums. The woman says they don't physically help her.  

By this time, our car has arrived and hubby is motioning me to hurry up.

I wish the lady well and get into our vehicle. As we drive away, she is still waiting for the public transporation.

Now I ask you this question. Who is at fault here? The senior citizen? She didn't teach her son or grandson to be respectful? She doesn't make them pay rent? She provides food and shelter for them and is still raising them?

How about the adult son and grown grandson? Neither one has a job, lives off her income, and doesn't help? Are they ignoring their teaching? Just being lazy? 

Who helps who?

My heart goes out to the lady. I hope her male offspring do more for her than she indicated in our brief conversation.

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