These glorious insults are from an era before the English language was boiled down to 4-letter words.A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”"That depends, Sir, " said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.""He had delusions of adequacy ."-Walter Kerr"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire"- Winston Churchill"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."-Clarence Darrow"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."-Moses Hadas"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."-Mark Twain"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."-Oscar Wilde"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."-Winston Churchill, in response"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."-Stephen Bishop"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."-John Bright"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."-Irvin S. Cobb"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."-Samuel Johnson"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."- Paul Keating"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."-Charles, Count Talleyrand"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."-Forrest Tucker"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"-Mark Twain"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."-Mae West"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."-Oscar Wilde"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. for support rather than illumination."-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."-Billy Wilder"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."-Groucho Marx
How do you feel about these? Are they funny? Rude? Negative? Would you use them? I write novels with faith and humor, but I'm unsure about these.