A New Year is here. Yay! We can put away the decorations and look
forward to a fresh beginning. Right?
But wait a second! What about the old feelings? You know what I mean? Those emotions of anger
and sadness because someone hurt our feelings last year. Yeah, those.
We experience domestic times at Thanksgiving and
Christmas. Those two holidays occurred just two or three months ago. They were
nerve-racking, merry-go-round for countless families. Did you suffer
disappointments with relatives during those recent festivities? Does the irritation; anxiety, or pain still
linger? Will it last forever?
Family Rejection Hurts!
The holiday ends, but the discord goes on. I work with an architect whose daughter hasn’t spoken to him in four years. He didn’t know she had moved back to Texas until I told him. He misses her and the grandchildren. I have a friend whose son never sees or visits his ill mother. She cries and prays for him to call her. Another friend hasn’t said a word to her mother in ten years! I know a lady who was disowned by her immediate family fifty years ago. She left town, and no one knows where she is to this day.
A famous twin sister duo, Ann Landers and Abigail Van
Buren, each wrote newspaper columns. They gave advice to the brokenhearted, but
they themselves separated from each other. Letters poured in to each of
them—asking Dear Abby or Ann Landers how to fix a relationship with an alienated
relative. The ladies gave excellent guidance, but they never took this advice
themselves. They loved each other, but competition had driven them apart. Abby
once commented she had a hole in her heart, but I guess it wasn’t a big enough
hole for her to mend the situation. After twenty-five years, the sisters had a
partial reconciliation, but they never fully regained a closeness.
Why is it family members are toxic and refuse to see
each other? Is it personality conflict? Political opinions? Religious beliefs?
Jealousy? Money matters? Rivalry? Control problems?
Whatever the issue, a kinship divided is a painful
situation, and families should work at resolution. As we all know, life zooms
by at a rapid rate, and our missed opportunities can’t be recovered. A shaky association
where people work to connect is usually better than no association at all.
Thanksgiving and Christmas will come again. Let’s get the extended family
together.
In my book, Family Secrets, Rebecca’s folks wounded
her deeply with their deception. Rebecca’s mom and siblings thought the secrets
they kept would prevent hurt. When Rebecca heard about her birth, she ran away.
(Kind of like my cousin) Anger then kept her from the ones she loved. Rebecca
met Marshall, and he, along with neighbor Sam, tried to convince Rebecca to
reconcile, but Rebecca was stubborn. Did she listen?
I hope you’ll read Family Secrets. It’s a
historical novel, and it may help you reconcile relationships.
